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Jin Shua paused, and grew solemn. "Do you know what sort of woman men want?"
"I'm not an expert," I replied truthfully.
Jin Shua spoke with an air of authority. "Men want a woman who is a virtuous wife, a good mother, and can do all the housework like a maid. Outside the home, she should be attractive and cultivated, and be a credit to him. In bed, she must be a nymphomaniac. What is more, Chinese men also need their women to manage their finances and earn a lot of money, so they can mingle with the rich and powerful. Modern Chinese men sigh over the abolition of polygamy. That old man Gu Hongming at the end of the Qing dynasty said that 'one man is best suited to four women, as a teapot is best suited to four cups'. And modern Chinese men want another cup to fill with money too."

She went on to tell a story about a close friend of her's, Ying'er, who was one of the many university-educated women who escorted men in China. She gradually fell in love with a Taiwanese real estate company director named Wu, and helped him open a company branch in Nanjing with her pleasant manner and good contacts. He didn't behave like the fat cats who think money can buy everything. Ying'er decided to stop escorting other men and to throw herself into helping Wu with his business. She told her friend Jin Shua that he's very loving. When she is down or loses her temper, he doesn't get angry. When she asked him why he was so patient, he said: 'How can a man call himself a man if he gets angry with a woman in pain?' Many months later, she told Jin Shua that when his wife came over from Taiwan, Wu announced that he could let neither wife nor fortune go, and ordered Ying'er to get out of his life. He and his wife gave Ying'er 10,000 yuan as a token of gratitude for her help with their affairs in Nanjing. Ying'er was devastated, and asked for time alone with Wu to ask three questions. She asked if his decision was final. Wu said it was. She asked if he had meant his earlier declarations of affection. He said he had. Finally, Ying'er asked him how his feelings could have changed. He replied brazenly that the world was in a constant state of flux, then announced that her quota of three questions was up.
Ying'er returned to her life as an escort, now firm in the conviction that true love did not exist. Less than two months after she graduated from university, she married an American. In the first letter she sent Jin Shua from America, she wrote, "Never think of a man as a tree whose shade you can rest in. Women are just fertilizer, rotting away to make the tree strong... There is no real love. The couples who appear loving stay together for personal gain, whether for money, power or influence." Jin Shua commented, "What a pity that Ying'er realized this too late." Then she fell silent, moved by her friend's fate.

"Jin Shua, do you plan to get married?" I asked curiously.
"I haven't thought much about it. I can't figure love out. We have a professor who abuses his power to determine exam marks. He calls up pretty students for "a heart to heart talk"; they talk their way to a hotel room. This is an open secret, everybody except his wife knows. She talks contentedly about how her hsuband spoils her: he buys her everything she wants and does all the housework, saying he can't bear for her to do it. Can you believe the lecherous professor and devoted husband are the same man? They say, 'Women value emotions, men value the flesh.' If this generalization is true, why marry?"

I am currently living in a nightmare.

But in these dispiriting times, may I be reminded that countless others have gone through greater adversities and survived.

Like J.K. Rowling, hitting rock bottom will be the solid foundation on which I will rebuild my life. This will be a time of opportunity. To rebuild my character and sense of identity. To rescue my reputation. To take control of my habits, and to re-establish the relationships I've lost with my family and friends in these past two years.

I promise to survive. And above all, come out of this a different person.

(I sound a lot more optimistic than I am feeling)

If there's only one valuable lesson I've learned this year, it would be to save and invest as early as you can on property. I don't know much about investing but I do know that one of the greatest return on investments come from real estate. Land is perhaps the most valuable piece of possession one can have. Land can't be stolen and as population increases (which it will over time), the more valuable that piece of land becomes. It's a great way to accumulate long term wealth. Even though putting all of your hard earned savings into one basket and hoping it turns into a highly profitable asset is risky business, there is no guarantee that prices won't go down on anything for that matter. But, if you're looking for safety and assurance that everything will be fine and your money is totally safe, put it in the bank at 1%.

Asian parents are great examples of successful property investors. They buy fake LV purses from Chinatown, shop only during 50% off sales and save up to make purchases on pre-construction condos. Then they rent/resell the property after a couple of years (a good time for appreciation) and obtain a large return to purchase more pre-development condos. Minus capital gains taxes and fees, if you do your homework and play the game right, real estate investments can help accumulate exponential wealth in the long haul.